SNOTSHOP FAQ
Who maintains this shop?
That would be us, Franklin and Maryvolent, two very bored teenaged girls who need to clear out their wardrobes as their mothers keep complaining about the amount of clothes they own.
What's in the name?
The name Snotshop is inspired by one of our favourite lead singers, Adam Lazzara, of the band Taking Back Sunday. In a particular video, Adam says "There is snot dripping from my nose. It's gross but kinda cool". We are in no way related to Topshop and we are not trying to rip off their name and make a parody out of it.
Will there be snot on any of the clothes i purchase?
Unfortunately, no. We have washed every article of clothing posted on the site before uploading its picture here. So you will be receiving clean clothes. Unless of course, you want your clothes to be full of snot. We are able to provide snot to you through our very own noses.
Is there any way i can purchase snot from your very fine noses?
Yeah. $50 per snot. We have genuine authentic designer snot available. We are also able to import snot from foreign celebrities. The snot will be placed on a clean peice of kleenex tissue just for you! :)
Can i get a refund if i find snot on my purchase?
Depends. If it's your snot, it none of our business. However, after multiple DNA tests and you discover it is our snot on your purchase, we can only advise you to clean it onto a piece of kleenex and sell it on ebay for a few million dollars. And sorry, no refunds.
Do you do international shipping?
Yes, we do! You have to pay for shipping though.
What are the modes of payment?
Snot. I'm kidding. You can make your payment through Bank Transfer(POSB only), Personal Checks or concealed cash. You can also meet up with us at either Tanjong Pagar MRT station or City Hall MRT at our convenience.
Can I swap clothes?
Sure, but please email us with pictures of the items you would like to swap us with. And remember, no snot is allowed to be present on the clothing.
Can I set up a fan club for you?
YES PLEASE! And will you tell all of your friends, you got a gun to my head. This song is only wishful thinking, this song is only wishful thinking..
Euu pEePle arE nUtZ. Plz KiLl urSelvE!
Aye Aye, we are nuts, but we have no intention to undergo suicide just because we are a little crazy. Besides, suicide sounds like it requires effort. Oh, if you type like a moron, we choose not to associate with you nor do we allow you to purchase our things because we own like that. We appreciate good English and would prefer it if you type in a manner that we are able to understand.
Can i have a discount?
No, unless you are Jonathan Togo, a member of Taking Back Sunday, Lostprophets, Avenged Sevenfold, From First To Last, Silverstein, Coheed And Cambria, Matchbook Romance, Paramore or other bands we love, no discounts will be given. Our prices are final. If your name is Pauline and is in your forties with a bulging belly and a wheezy voice and intend to buy our things at a discount, we will only multiply all the prices by 10 just for you.
Can I date you to get a discount?
Unless you look like(or preferably, are) Jon Togo, Sonny Moore or The Rev, we're not interested, thanks.
Who do I contact to conduct an interview with you people?
Interview? US? Oh my! You can contact us through our email address at the bottom of the page. Stupid questions are welcomed because we love stupid questions because then we get to give stupid answers.
Can I try the clothes before buying them?
The only way you can try on the clothes is by buying them first. We'll try our best to give accurate measurements but you cannot try the clothes first.
Mi English no good. Can talk Scandinavian..?
No, we cannot speak in Scandinavian but we are able to communicate with you in English, Mandarin, Bahasa Melayu, Francais, Espanol(Only words spoken on Dora the Explorer), Hokkien, Cantonese and Hungarian(like Za from the Set Phasers to Stun video only).
Can I have any of your numbers so I can contact you through the phone?
And have telemarketers ringing us every 5 seconds? No thanks, cowboy. The only way you can contact us is through email. However, if you choose to meet up to make the transaction, we will disclose our number for convenience purposes.
For the Franklin and Maryvolent line of t-shirts, who designs the shirts?
That would be the talented Ms Franklin. Maryvolent is retarded at art. However Ms Maryvolent does the editting because that is the only way she is able to contribute.
Do you do custom designs?
Yes, we do. An extra charge is required however.
Got a burning question to ask?
EMAIL US!
snotshop@gmail.com
Although we are a pair of lazybums, but we will answer your questions A.S.A.P. If we don't, well, just wait. We happen to have jobs and cannot dedicate all our time to the sinly internet(cue sacarstic laughter..)
Alright, we admit it, these questions are not frequently asked. In fact, they were never asked at all! We did this because we can predict the future and we predicted these are the questions you may ask. If these questions never passed your minds then.. well.. lets just hope you have a better understanding of what we're like.
Oh, a Public Awareness Anouncement: Be courteous on the MRT; Wait for people to get out before getting in. Give in your seat to pregnant women. Sleep with your mouth closed. Don't pick your nose. THANK YOU.Labels: FAQ